“Marriage is a wonderful institution – but who wants to live in an institution?” comedian Groucho Marx said.
Just fifty years ago, living together before some form of formal marriage ceremony was a social no-no in most societies. But attitudes have been steadily relaxing in the last few decades.
Are you offending the grannies?
In 2002, a survey by the Pew Research Center of the US showed that 54% of adult respondents aged 18-44 had cohabited. In a subsequent study in 2013-17, the proportion was 59%, and it was higher than the 50% of respondents who had been married at some time.
By then, 78% of those aged between 18 and 29 said it was acceptable for an unmarried couple to live together.
However, living together does not necessarily result in marriage or a long-term commitment. This is something you as a couple should consider when deciding whether to sell your duplicated possessions or put them in storage for a while.
Is cohabitation a soufflé? (it collapses as it cools)
In another study conducted between 1996 and 2013, quoted in Brides.com, a researcher, Patrick Ishizuka at Cornell University, found that slightly over half of those couples who lived together in a relationship broke it off – on average, within two years.
Don’t let that put you off. Living together is not what determines how long your relationship will last. You do.
Various studies between the 1970s and 2000s suggested that couples who lived together before marriage were more likely to divorce. More recent studies have shown that isn’t true.
Not if you use the right ingredients
According to research by Arielle Kuperberg at the University of North Carolina, the reason that studies were misleading on this point was that they were not looking at the same age groups. What does lead to a breakdown in a relationship or divorce is the age of the partners.
Those linking up before the age of 23 are more likely to lack the necessary levels of maturity to pick compatible partners and handle intimate relationships, she found.
Be realistic – and keep your options open for a while
A piece of advice from an American psychologist, James Dobson: “don’t marry the person you think you can live with. Marry only the individual you think you can’t live without”.
There are arguments in favour of making a legal commitment to your partner, and arguments in favour of simply moving in together. No-one can tell you what is best for you. Enter the next phase of your relationship with an open mind – but keep your possessions in storage until you are quite sure this is where your life is headed.
Spacious Storage offers you the flexibility of month-to-month storage, in a safe and convenient warehouse in Midrand, Gauteng or Killarney, Cape Town.
